In my small-town Bible College, we were a special breed known as “Theology Majors”—a title given not purely in admission of fact, but more often as a way to reference a certain type of attitude inherent in the typical young Bible scholar. When I was deemed by others as being “such a theology major,” it was shorthand for the detached, intellectual, and objective way I would approach moral, ethical, and relational issues. Struggling with sin? Just stop. Boyfriend not being the spiritual leader he should be? Dump him. Your childhood friend is becoming a bad influence? Cut off the relationship. Every decision had a black-or-white answer. The solutions, according to the “theology major,” weren’t complex, they were just hard, and understanding that would only make the choices easier.
My theology major friends and I have grown up now, and we’re no longer college students with mostly intellectual, abstract problems to solve. We’re discovering that relationships and ethical dilemmas aren’t math problems to be solved, but something else entirely. And yet, many pastors and church leaders find themselves in situations where their immediate reaction to the problems and struggles of their parishioners is to simply share with them what they should be doing. And the difficult thing is that church leaders, in many cases, are doing exactly what they were trained to do.
Church discipline, God’s sovereignty, sexual ethics, ecclesiology, and a desire to live a righteous life are the types of concepts that trained ministers find themselves extremely familiar with and comfortable putting into practice. In our seminaries and Bible colleges, students are taught that it is best to come to conclusions on these matters before they are forced to make decisions under pressure. This is good advice, and yet, it often leads to dealing with sensitive issues in a detached and graceless manner, giving little heed to the emotional and relational health of the Christian that one is interacting with. The unfortunate truth is that many church leaders struggle with developing and demonstrating empathy, or an ability to identify with the feelings, doubts, concerns, and motives of the flesh and blood recipients of their counseling, preaching, and evangelism.
This attitude comes to light in pastors’ sermons and in various teaching and counseling situations. Men in pastoral roles often counsel by doling out commands and truisms. Teachers and preachers often project more anger and frustration than sadness over mankind’s sinful condition. Giving heed to the emotional difficulty of a situation or choice is often seen as a sign of spiritual weakness or compromise.
There are two problems with this approach. First, it reflects an emotional immaturity on the part of the spiritual leader. Moral certainty is to be admired when the answers are clean cut, however, a complete disregard for the emotional ramifications of a situation reflects a misunderstanding about the reality of the situation, and instead assumes that situations are more problems to be solved than struggles to overcome. This is unbiblical and unrealistic.
Second, a lack of empathy on the part of the pastor often does unseen, yet widespread, irrevocable damage in the lives of believers. Pastors are often seen by a congregation as the one righteous man in a sea of sinners, and it can be indirectly reinforced by the posture of the pastor. This results in a hesitation on the part of the congregation to approach leaders with any real life issues, and when they do they often feel as if they have at best been given a list of instructions or commands, and at worst simply been judged.
In my experience, far fewer people than we think leave the church because they disagree with the doctrine of the Trinity or because they don’t understand why a good God allows evil in the world. Often, believers leave because a feeling of being out of place, unwelcome, and bitterness toward others has caused them to reconsider the helpfulness of the church as an institution. Maybe these feelings can be prevented by a church that is characterized by grace and authenticity rather than judgment and hypocrisy. These are characteristics of empathy that come especially from the example of a pastor, and they are often inadvertently prevented by the telltale signs of an utter lack of empathy: angry sermons, quick and thoughtless rebukes, and careless condemnation.
The biggest danger here is that you read this and think of some other pastor, convinced that you don’t struggle with this problem. We all struggle with it. It’s in our nature to be self-centered, and we must go out of our way to prevent a certain ignorance when it comes to understanding what it might be like to be someone else. Furthermore, even after spending a significant amount of time considering the plight and emotional struggle of another, we often lapse into our own self-centered concerns. In order to remain consistently empathetic toward others, we must train ourselves.
Art can help us to fulfill this calling. One huge benefit of truly good art and entertainment is that it provides us with insight into the lives of others that we might not get otherwise. On the other hand, bad art can often reinforce assumptions about people and cultures, making it easy to simply ignore any hard truths about the people we are called to reach. Note how classic films such as Schindler’s List, Amadeus, Do the Right Thing, and The Truman Show do their best to give their characters real feelings and emotions that the viewer can identify with. On the other hand, lesser films, such as Transformers, Bruno, and Saving Silverman misfire particularly because they use their characters as props and plot devices, refusing to give them real feelings and motives. Because we have been given the opportunity to choose among a wealth of media, we would do well to consider carefully what it does to us.
For leaders, media’s ability to instill a sense of empathy and respect for the humanity of others is too valuable to ignore. Because pastors are called to relate to and minister to people in all areas and walks of life, media can be an invaluable aid in comprehending various aspects of life such as divorce, death, unhealthy choices, loneliness, a sense of aimlessness, unfulfilled ambition, or dealing with the after-effects of traumatic events.
This is why it can be such a tragedy to immerse oneself in media that simply reaffirms our perspective, rather than challenging it. While it’s good to remain strong in our faith, it’s also possible to become so entrenched in our own political, theological, and social views that we begin to view anyone with a different perspective as foolish or evil.
This attitude is most common after spending a lot of time listening to talk radio in which the other perspective is mocked or condemned. News channels have begun to dig trenches in the ideological battlefield, providing opportunities for viewers to arm themselves with arguments and half-truths that serve no other purpose but to reinforce our own assumptions. This can be an incredibly harmful development for the Christian leader. For those who are supposed to represent truth and integrity, there can be great value in seeking out opposing opinions and investigating dubious claims.
Christian media also carries a similar danger. Immersing ourselves exclusively in Christian music, books, and films results in a kind of shortsightedness that is unique to Christians, and far too common. The kinds of media sold in Christian book stores are written and produced by a specific sector of the population. Because of this, those who make wrong or sinful choices are often written as villains or fools, or at best, their sins are mere lapses of judgment that are easily overcome and dispensed with. Little time is spent attempting to understand the unrepentant sinner or the person who struggles constantly with certain sin. For instance, when was the last time you’ve seen a Christian film or book deal with the loneliness and sense of rejection that comes with the gay lifestyle or the impossible life circumstances that lead urban males to deal drugs? One would be hard-pressed to gain a balanced view of humanity by limiting their choices to such a venue.
One reason that film, television shows, and books can be particularly helpful is by providing us with an opportunity to engage in a social taboo: staring. Staring can be awkward and distressing when attempted in actual social situations, but film and television demands that we gawk openly at the lives and struggles of others. The best works of art take the time to linger on the characters that might otherwise be seen as unsympathetic or foolish. Films like Slumdog Millionaire, the recently released Precious, or the acclaimed documentary Hoop Dreams and television shows like Glee, Friday Night Lights, or Lost, encourage thoughtful staring. Reading a good novel can give us the opportunity to linger on the thoughts and emotions of others. Far from a tasteless quenching of our curiosity, these works of art produce a helpful empathy toward those in difficult or unique situations. In these works, we are confronted with desperate poverty, the fear of being unable to provide for one’s family, relentless self-loathing, an inability to escape the sins of the past, and many other situations that many of us are blessed not to experience for ourselves.
Beyond simply watching those unlike us, and allowing them to make their case, one may find it helpful to actually attempt to experience the situations and struggles that help to make up the patchwork of humanity that exists in this world. Letting our guard down during a particularly well-made and emotional film, allowing ourselves to be sucked in to a good book, losing ourself in passionately written and performed music, or even becoming immersed in a videogame world that rings true can provide a profound insight into the experience of others.
Jesus Christ took it upon himself to experience what it was like to be one of us in an act of supreme empathy: the incarnation. He demonstrated a distinct sense of empathy with those who sought his mercy. His interaction with others was characterized not by detached instruction. Instead, he addressed their emotional frustrations while also acknowledging the stark truth of the gospel, of which he was the center.
Empathy should be a primary impulse among church leaders. Rather than reluctantly admitting the reality of common human experience, leaders should find themselves in constant understanding with those who seek their help or counsel, and those whom they try to reach. While media is never to be considered a necessary part of the Christian life, media can often be helpful and enjoyable, providing a constant reminder not only of our own struggles and frustrations, but of those lived outside the four walls of our homes and churches.
Richard Clark is the editor-in-chief and one of the founders of Christ and Pop Culture (www.christandpopculture.com), an online magazine that attempts to think rightly about the common knowledge of our age. He lives in Louisville, KY, and has a Master of Arts in Theology and the Arts from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.