Just in case you’re called upon to create a commercial for this year’s Big Game, we’ve assembled this handy guide to creating a Super Bowl ad for the ages.
Step One: Choose a product or service
In order to recoup the $3 million it will cost for Super Bowl airtime, you’ll have to sell something. Honestly, this is the least important step. Your options:
- Junk Food (chips will soon be on the food pyramid)
- Vague Dot-Com Service (the keys: weird name, unclear value)
- Overnight Shipping (ground shipping has become passé)
- Adult Beverages (let’s face it, you’re unlikely to choose this one)
Step Two: Choose a main character
Most commercials focus on a main character rather than the product or service being sold. For a Super Bowl ad, the following are your best options:
- Attractive Model (is that redundant?)
- Random Animal (the cuter and/or furrier, the better)
- Generic Everyman (viewers will substitute themselves)
- Precious Baby (odd-looking babies don’t sell product)
- Minor Celebrity (check Jeff Goldblum’s availability first)
Step Three: Choose a device
Your commercial gets a split-second to grab viewers’ attention and 30 seconds to make your mark. What is your approach going to be?
- Oddball Humor (think: Napoleon Dynamite meets "Where’s the Beef?")
- Bodily Functions (try combining this with the baby or animal from Step Two)
- Slapstick Violence (for some reason, injuries amuse us)
- Elaborate Musical Number (caution: these are difficult to write)
- Goose Bumps (Freedom. Sacrifice. No payments for 12 months.)
Step Four: Present Your Pitch
Be witty. Be bold. Be aggressive. Fill in the blanks.
The spot opens with a (Step Two) in a (random location) . Then, (event consistent with Step Three) happens. Luckily, (Step One) is there to save the day and/or get the party started. [Insert product/logo hero shot and fade to black.]
Congratulations in advance on your award-winning Super Bowl commercial!