I’m not really sure why the editors at COLLIDE would want me to write a column for them. Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m grateful for the opportunity, and I’m certainly not questioning their publishing savvy, but I just wonder if they know what they’ve gotten themselves into. Basically, I doubted their decision to ask me to contribute because the truth is this: technology and I go together like Lindsay Lohan and sobriety.
And sometimes not even that good.
And since COLLIDE is a magazine about how to utilize technology within the confines of church and ministry (YouTube Bible Church, anyone?), you probably can imagine why I wasn’t quite sure how I would fit in editorially.
However, I don’t want to mislead you, either. Just because I’m clueless about all-things techie—um, I still struggle hooking up the VCR when my wife wants to watch Anne of Green Gables—that doesn’t mean I don’t like some of it. Being inept when it comes to understanding the engineering and science behind most of today’s technology doesn’t mean I avoid it like it’s an STD. In fact, even the stuff I can’t afford to use—which is most of it—arouses a number of my senses when I walk through the Apple Store. And honestly, that’s why I’ve wondered on more than one occasion if Steve Jobs is actually one of Satan’s helpers, kind of like Tom from MySpace or Gargamel from The Smurfs.
And you know that might not be an exaggeration. Let’s face it, the gadgets that Steve creates, even to those of us only mildly caught up in the world of geekdom, are often as alluring as online porn. If only you could Google the iPod and find it free, a man would never have to fear that his tech addiction would end up on display when the credit card statement comes at the end of the month. Of course, not everybody is tempted by things such as Bluetooth, Microsoft Surface, and video screens small enough to keep in your back pocket. However, some of you know exactly what I’m talking about; you, too, have been caught lusting after a friend’s iPhone. And I think you’ll agree: There are only a few things more pathetic than a guy with phone envy written all over his face.
Believe me, I know. Despite not having the technical ability to ever get the iPhone—a cell phone that I’m sure God would use if he didn’t have to switch to AT&T—to sync with my MacBook Pro, I would still find a good amount of satisfaction just carrying it around in my front pocket or daily touching it. It doesn’t matter that the LG phone I got free from Verizon works perfectly fine; the lust I feel for that small “i” nudges my soul far more than anything Chris Tomlin has ever written.
I wonder if people’s intrigue with the latest technology isn’t about needing the gadget, but often more about being able to boast to their family, friends, and the baristas at Starbucks that they are cool enough to own the gadget.
That has certainly been true for me on more than one occasion.
I think the same might be true for some of the churches that use technology and media to enhance their worship services. In the past, when I’ve attended a gaudier church—you know, the type whose call to worship feels more like you’re watching Billy Bush on Access Hollywood than experiencing an introduction to a time of communion with God—I often wonder if all the added mechanical bells and whistles really do a better job at telling the story of God, or if some churches are simply boasting their technical treasures here on earth. Not to mention, many of them demand the Holy Spirit to keep up with the speed and capability of a T3 line, which is something that even the Apostle Paul didn’t do.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I believe that some of today’s technical magic offers churches the chance to retell God’s narrative in a way that is passionate and beautiful and culturally relevant. And I applaud the churches that are making great creative strides in using media and technology. But when churches are not careful, I also think the gospel can get lost in translation when it’s enhanced only because a church has a couple of big screens and a few visitors to impress.
I guess I think that using the culture’s most elaborate tools while worshiping our Creator requires a great deal of wisdom on our part. I mean, the last thing we need is for God’s son to become known as iJesus, and for parishioners to leave God’s house feeling like they’ve just witnessed Church by J.J. Abrams.
There’s nothing wrong with telling stories with the help of flash graphics and a THX sound system. Heck, I can only imagine that even God got a little geeked on the second day of Creation. But I think it’s very important that we not let our need to impress trump our desire to tell what’s true with a little grace and humility. I think our culture has enough loud, exaggerated stories to listen to.
And I don’t foresee Fox News changing their strategy anytime soon.
Matthew Paul Turner is a humorist, speaker, and author. To find out more about his books and how you can book him for a speaking event, please visit www.JesusNeedsNewPR.com.