I’ll confess: I love personality surveys. I think they’re fascinating. So when I saw The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace I was intrigued. I had read Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages and found it a good resource for communication in relationships, and I was curious to see how it applied to work.
Then Champan and his co-author, Paul White, started throwing out statistics like these (true against any job type):
- 64% of people who leave jobs do so because they don’t feel appreciated.
- 70% of employees say they receive no recognition or praise at work.
I quickly realized that the authors were on to something more than just a communication pattern. Appreciation is key when it comes to work, especially when you consider the church where burnout runs rampant. Chapman and White observe:
“When relationships are not nurtured by a sense of appreciation…team members will experience a lack of connectedness with others and with the mission of the organization.”
Churches and ministries don’t have the luxury of an employee or two not being connected with the mission. It’s clear the authors see the importance too, as they included an entire section on churches and ministries. Appreciation can be more difficult to express in this environment because people are driven by a spiritual calling and “are not looking for financial reward and rarely desire high levels of praise.”
With themes such as thankfulness at the core of our Christian value system, you would think employee appreciation comes easily. The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace helped shed a little light on why we might be “missing the mark.” The premise is simple — we feel most appreciated when others communicate with us based on our primary “language.” The five languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, tangible gifts and physical touch. It should be noted that in the new book, the authors drop the latter because no one had physical touch as their primary language of appreciation in the office.
Parallel to my love for personality tests is my delight in knowing my co-workers well. So, after reading the book, I confidently strolled around asking people (many of whom I’ve known for five years) which language spoke to them most (secretly believing I already knew the answer). I was wrong every time. Every time! As I nursed my pride, it got me thinking, with so many employees feeling undervalued not just by their supervisors, but also their coworkers, how do we fix it? Chapman and White make it clear: we learn to speak each other’s language in order to effectively communicate appreciation. Each language is described in detail, from how to identify it to how to implement it. They share practical action steps and valuable advice to help you pursue a positive work environment through expressed appreciation.
One section I found notable was the idea that recognition has limitations where appreciation doesn’t. Recognition is about performance and often only covers those who feel appreciated by words of affirmation or tangible gifts. It costs money and is rarely personal. On the other hand, appreciation can be shown at any time, at no cost, by any employee, and with a little diligence, in any “language.” This idea alone has the potential to change an entire organization.
There is a lot of great info in this book; it’s worthy of at least a hardy skim. Pick it up to find out more about:
- What to do when you actually don’t appreciate your employee/coworker
- Obstacles to showing appreciation and how to overcome them
- The MBA Inventory (the survey that helps determine your primary language of appreciation)
Heres’s hoping we’re all more intentional about effectively appreciating our coworkers, partners, and volunteers this year than we were last year.
Jenni Wright is the Production Manager at Igniter Media and the Logistics Coordinator for Echo Conference.