All divided people have differences, but not all people with differences are divided.
I believe that. Do you? Honestly, I don’t remember a time when people—in our world, in this country, in the church—needed that message more. Yes, we have differences. But no, we don’t have to be divided.
Politics and vision
In the run-up to the presidential election you probably saw this phrase appear on blogs and in your social media feeds: “I can’t see how ANYONE could vote for [the other guy] …”
I saw that phrase coming from both sides of the aisle, and yet the reality is that 58-60 million people voted for each candidate. In other words, plenty of people voted on both sides whether or not you could see how or why. And if you can’t see why, you have a vision problem, not a political problem. And the reason we’re talking about this today is that vision problems beget communication problems.
Start with empathy
What I mean is that while people have always had ideological differences, our present climate is so divided that it’s choking our capacity for imagination, empathy, and bridge-building. Empathy is the foundation of meaningful communication between two or more people. That’s easy to forget, but it never stops being true.
Nancy Duarte hammers this point in her powerful book, Resonate. In teaching communicators to give great presentations, Duarte insists they must first understand their audience. In fact, she advised readers of the TED blog to “develop all your material from a place of empathy toward [the audience].”
To communicate with another person, you have to see them, where they’re coming from, and what they’re feeling. But many of us have lost our ability to see, and we don’t even hide it. We let everyone know, “I can’t see …”
What this means for your church
Now, let’s drop politics and consider how this kind of division can create toxic communication within a church:
- I can’t see how ANYONE could believe in an old/young earth.
- I can’t see how ANYONE could accept evolution/creationism.
- I can’t see how ANYONE could struggle with [insert random sin here].
- I can’t see how ANYONE could give less than 10 percent of their pre-tax income.
- I can’t see how ANYONE could love/hate these modern worship songs.
The fact is there are people in your congregation (whether or not they’d ever admit it publicly) who fit into each of those statements. That doesn’t mean you should agree with or make excuses for anything less than orthodoxy. It doesn’t. But it does mean if you’re stuck in “I can’t see …” mode, you’d better learn to see. Quick. Otherwise, do you have any hope for meaningful communication?
All divided people have differences, but not all people with differences are divided.
Scott McClellan is the Editor of Echo Hub and the Director of Echo Conference. You can follow him on Twitter: @scottmcclellan.